The conversations went on for hours. Dubey realized it was more than just friendship when she had to use much of her monthly graduate stipend to pay the long-distance bill.

Dubey was in love, but the courtship went on in secret. Her family sent suitors her way, and she politely met with some of them to fulfill her part of the bargain.

Partha, too, was expected to find a wife the traditional way. The guest list was tiny. She and Partha had both taken jobs at i2 Technologies, a supply management company in Dallas, and had become parents to a baby girl. The new company, which was owned by Match, needed a director of product.

Ginsberg asked Dubey to suggest some names. The day after Chemistry made its offer to hire Dubey, i2 sued Ginsberg for violating a poaching clause.

The parties eventually settled. Dubey, for her part, had no idea what she was getting herself into. In the early s, a programmer in Manchester, England, taught a 4½-ton, 4,cubic-foot Ferranti Mark 1 computer to write love letters. MY [adjective] [noun] [adverb] [verbs] YOUR [adjective] [noun]. You filled out a question survey about your personality and your ideal date, sent it off to be processed through an Avco computer, and got a list of compatible matches in the mail. The process was delightful, though not always useful.

Match, founded more than a decade earlier by an engineer named Gary Kremen, had normalized the idea of digitally sorting through millions of strangers to find your partner. The site was little more than a glorified directory. People could search for each other by age, location, religion, and even drinking habits, but they had to sift through all the pseudonymous profiles on their own. Early on, eHarmony also rejected about one in six people for being poor marriage prospects, in some cases because they showed signs of depression.

Chemistry marketed itself as a big-tent matchmaking site, more inclusive than eHarmony. Whether the ratio really means anything is still a subject of scientific dispute. Another question: What do your doodles look like? Doodles and digits were crude proxies for attraction or compatibility, as Fisher once conceded.

But as a product, the personality quizzes were fantastic. When it became clear that the Chemistry experiment was working, the company asked Dubey to stabilize the business at Match.

At the time, the site was still oriented around search. She mobilized a team to build a recommendation engine. It would email each subscriber a handful of curated matches each day, known as the Daily Five.

The site still felt too clinical, too much like vetting résumés on LinkedIn. And the chemistry gap—the distance between a promising onscreen match and a compatible real-life partner—was still too big. Dubey thought the experience of online dating should be more like mingling at a bar or a speed-dating event. It should create a space for kismet. In the idea seemed far-fetched.

Average connection speeds in the US were about a twentieth as fast as they are now. Most Match users were still using desktop computers; fewer than a third of all Americans owned a smartphone. Nevertheless, Match started testing a live video feature. If they liked, they could linger and chat. The site crashed often, and Dubey and her coworkers ended up scrapping the idea. They were talking, in fact, much like she and Partha had in their early courtship. But Ginsberg believes that it explains her dedication to solving this problem.

In the spring of , Dubey left Match to run product at Tutor. com, which was owned by the same parent company, IAC. By the time she returned to the dating side, in , the industry had undergone a seismic shift.

Two-thirds of all Americans now had smartphones. Baroque questionnaires and matching algorithms were old hat; the new fads were geolocation and gamification. Tinder, spawned from an IAC incubator in , was the standard-bearer for this new generation of internet dating services. While sites like Match and OkCupid had slowly made inroads with younger people on smartphones, Tinder launched directly on mobile and targeted the collegiate set.

It shuffled people like a deck of cards. Rather than searching for someone specific, or waiting for an email with your Daily Five, you swiped through profiles with the flick of a thumb—left for no, right for yes.

The seeming beauty of Tinder was that it shielded people from certain messy emotions. They later settled. Rad and Mateen were pushed out; Wolfe went on to start the dating app Bumble. Tinder became a preeminent example of bro culture and sexism in tech. Every week, Dubey would fly from Dallas to Los Angeles, where Tinder is based.

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